April 16: Beth and Melanie are profoundly grateful to hear any voice other than Tangentia’s
Chief Duncan Hoss is solid. Solid head, solid shoulders, solid temperament, solid sense of right and wrong, solid in a crisis. If Duncan Hoss views something as a problem, that something should expect to be solved. Workplace issue, paperwork issue, global warming, Duncan Hoss has seen it all before, and is fully prepared to make fun of it.
His opening line: “Did you all find last week’s class entertaining? Don’t hold me to that expectation.”
It was difficult to take notes, because Chief Hoss doesn’t so much talk as dump words out by the barrel full. But I gave it my best shot.
Some facts about Chief Hoss:
He has worked with the Sheriff’s Office for thirty-three and a half years. He started as a cadet, went to patrol for fifteen years working night and graveyard shifts, and was promoted to Sergeant. He shifted from there into Street Crimes, where he worked for ten years; then he took over Major Crimes. He was promoted Commander, and (in his words) “ended his career as an Investigative Commander.”
Please note: cops apparently believe that if you are not putting yourself in mortal danger, you have changed careers. Those of us who have only ever worked in offices would view Chief Hoss’ presence in our building as though we were buffalo and he was a lion dozing next to our watering hole. But then, to an outsider, “cop” is not so much a career as a worldview. I doubt a day will ever come when Duncan Hoss stops evaluating threat levels when he walks into a room.
The Beth and Melanie procedure for evaluating a room:
1. Are there walls?
2. Is there furniture?
3. Are there desserts?
4. Is there a line?
Chief Hoss is also the one who suggested that John Horch run for Sheriff. Quote: “I had compromising pictures of John Horch, so I was able to convince him to run for the position of County Sheriff. In revenge, he made me the Chief Deputy of the Civil Division.”
Chief Hoss explained that while he was “still a cop” (ahem) he had no idea what happened behind the scenes. “At the end of my shift, I wrote a police report, put it in the magic tube and somehow it got where it needed to go.” He said that he had no respect for the way the system works, but now understands a fundamental truth: without the Civil Branch, the deputies would be forced to handle the paperwork themselves.
Now, as a library employee, paperwork does not intimidate me the in the way that, say, guns do. On the other hand, since COVID, it has become popular in libraries to brandish books.
There are three main branches within the Civil Division: Criminal Records, Warrants & Public Disclosure, and Logistics & Evidence. We begin with Warrents and Public Disclosure, headed by Sarah Leffler. According to Chief Hoss, Washington has the worst public disclosure laws in the United States.
[Beth and Melanie nod vigorously and hope nobody ever requests our email records, which include references to unusual festivals, doctored song lyrics, and photos of Beth in a sloth costume.]
Recently, a detective in the Vancouver Police died during an investigation. Someone obtained, via a public records request, all the emails the detective sent and received for a certain period of time. As those emails often contained confidential information about people and police operations, and the information was not requestable for safety or legal reasons, the Public Disclosure team had to read through every email chain in order to redact sensitive information. Not only that: body cam footage is also obtainable through a public records request. Certain portions of such footage will also inevitably need to be redacted.
Another function of the Warrants & Public Disclosure branch: they arrange retrieval when criminals try to escape to other states. The staff in this branch enter existing warrants into a national database, and when a criminal is located, W&PD arranges travel and pickup.
Chief Hoss: “Ever seen ConAir? Yeah. We don’t have that.”
At this point, Chief Hoss digressed: “One time, it was me and another cop trying to get a guy on a plane to take him back, and the pilot told my buddy, “Sorry, you can’t bring your knife on here.” And my buddy was all bent out of shape about it. I said, “Come on, man, you’re carrying a Glock 33 with thirteen rounds, why are you worried about a pocketknife? . . . I don’t know why I told you guys that story.”
Someone in class asked for more details about extradition. Chief Hoss explained that depending on size and resources, some states will only extradite for larger crimes, such as “BARC and other felonies, kidnapping, burglary, stuff like that.” In these cases, the Sheriff’s Office has to practice good faith and arrive in a timely manner. (For the curious, “BARC” refers to animal cruelty, which is now considered a felony.) Extradited criminals are transported on regular flights to and from, so it is possible that at some point, anybody who flies might be on a plane with a felon during an extradition. It’s up to the officers to ensure that the passengers aren’t aware that they are sitting near a felon.
Chief Hoss: “But if you see a guy in handcuffs. . . just kidding. But at some point, you might see a guy in handcuffs.”
Next, we got some information about Logistics and Evidence, headed by Kari Schultz. It was L&E who ordered the nifty green shirts we were all wearing to class. In fact, L&E also orders the equipment cops need to do their jobs: the boots, radios, tasers, vests, ballistic helmets, etc. Everything but cars and computers. Bulletproof vests must be replaced every five years, something that cops apparently forget about. (“Yeah, cops’ll wear their vests until they get old and ratty. Then we get the email to come in for a fitting. You have to have a fitting. Bodies change every five years. They get, you know, a little wider. . .”)
About ballistic helmets: Chief Hoss feels that it is absurd for a ballistic helmet to have an expiration date. Ballistic helmets should be made to last a lifetime. Ballistic helmets are a money grab. Keep that in mind.
L&E also ensures that AED batteries are within codes. But most interesting of all (to me, at least) is that it’s up to L&E to catalog evidence in a way that ensures it can be used in court – and that enables the police to testify it has never been seen as evidence.
One of the attendees asked about disposal of evidence. Answer: if it’s biologic evidence, it’s desposed of as a biohazard. Firearms used to be sold at auction to gun dealers, but are now ground up. Cars “get ground up and squished.”
Believe it or not, the session with Chief Hoss has just begun. We are about to get a snapshot of an average day for a rookie cop. Stay tuned!
